A Smack at the Boche WW2 War Diary


On Sunday 2nd September 1939 the radio announced to an expectant nation that a state of war existed between Britain and Germany. Ronnie had already quit his job on the Friday and travelled back to Liverpool to pack his bag for the fight.

Two weeks later armed only with his tattoos, an appetite for rum, a Box Brownie camera and an “illegal” small black notebook that would contain his thoughts and experiences for the next two years, Ronnie headed for Portsmouth and the most exciting period of his life.

With first hand, never published before, accounts of the Battle of the River Plate and the sinking of HMS Royal Oak at Scapa Flow, Ronnie's 'illegal' diary is a fascinating insight into life aboard the British cruiser HMS Hawkins.

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Zillid the Lizzid in Tongue Trouble a picture book for preschool kids by Johnny Parker

Get my latest kids picture books

Zillid the Lizzid in Tongue Trouble

Zillid the Lizzid is the hungriest gecko on the planet. He wants to make a meal of Billy Bluebottle, the fattest fly in the universe.

Billy hangs out in hazardous places. If Zillid wants a Bluebottle brunch, he must battle Billy over cat poo, carnivorous plants, electric bug zappers and most dangerous of all, the sharp, cat claws of Big Ginger.

It’s survival of the fattest, a tale of feast or famine. Can Zillid, our hasty hero, become a legend in his own lunchtime or will Billy Bluebottle live to fly another day?

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Bryony Marshall

Great read for young kids...

”Great read for young kids.. easy for them to read along, lovely bright pictures.. which are also funny. Keeps my son entertained for ages he really enjoys getting stuck in reading along.. never gets old. Both looking forward to reading any future books..”

The poo has it...

“Leaping lizards, a tale of retribution and a reference to poo are bound to ensure success with even the youngest reader... Next episode...”


A two year old 'reading' Zillid - with actions!

The Lazy Seagull by Johnny Parker

The Lazy Seagull

If you thought you would never meet a Seagull who doesn’t fly or eat - think again.

The Lazy Seagull, like most youngsters, has trouble getting out of bed and is picky about his food - most un-seagull like.

He wants Mum to bring him little silver fish because he’s too lazy to fly and find his own.

Then a storm blows his nest into a deserted car park and Mum is nowhere to be seen.

The local animals try to tempt him with their favourite foods but seeds, slugs and even chip shop fish and chips are all all yeuch!

When a hungry fox licks his lips at a seagull lunch, Lazy thinks perhaps Mum was right when she wanted him to learn to fly.

It’s better to eat lunch than be lunch!

If you like stories with humour, action, rhyme and subtle lessons then The Lazy Seagull is for you.

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S Riaz

Amazon Hall of Fame, Top 50 Reviewer, Vine Voice

”There is a storm coming, but the little seagull is unwilling to leave his cosy nest. Then the wind comes and lifts the lazy little seagull, nest and all, and deposits him in a car park. Where is his breakfast and where is his mum? The story takes us through all the food that Lazy could eat, but rejects. However, what will get him out of his nest and actually doing something about his situation? This is a humorous story with good illustrations, which will be enjoyed by children of 3+.”

Fun Read - Amazon Verified Purchase

“A brilliant read, everything a children's book should have. Colour, rhyme, characters a child can recognise and a happy ending.”

Best Funny Kids Jokes Memes Volume 1

Best Funny Kids Jokes Memes Volume 1

    • Clean jokes + Great Images = Best Funny Kids Jokes Memes
    • All the best funny clean jokes for kids ages 5-10 in a series of ebooks that you can read on a phone, tablet, laptop or PC.
    • User tested on six kids and ten grandkids (tough audience)! These are the kid friendly jokes that got the thumbs up - or a massive groan… it’s all good.
    • If you like to hear your kids chuckle then you are safe to let them loose on this series of eJoke books.

Get Best Funny Kids Jokes Memes Volume 1 at your favourite retailer - FREE on iBooks and Kobo

Best Funny Kids Jokes Memes Volume 2

Best Funny Kids Jokes Memes Volume 2

More funny clean jokes with images to entertain the kids (and the adults).

Get Volume 2 at your favourite retailer

About Johnny Parker

Johnny Parker - Birkenhead Writer

I'm a prize winning writer based in Birkenhead. I'm on the cusp of the bus pass, but with age comes experience, which I pour into my writing.

I love to write with humour as well as insight.

My writing range is as broad as my backside with anything from kids picture books to 'how-to' technical manuals.

In between there has been the odd award winning short story, screenplay and stage play.